Excerpts from Julia v. Glehn’s (my great-grandmother) diary, copied by Gita v.Glehn, her granddaughter, for my mother.

8/16/1897   Today our Felix (18) left his parental home for the first time, just now Edmund drove with him to the train station to bring him to (St.) Petersburg to the Petri school.  One should think that this will be the best thing for him with God’s help, he needed to be placed in a different environment and onto his own feet.  It is very hard for me to send him to (St.) Petersburg of all places.

8/15/1906   Yesterday declaration of engagement of Grete and Felix.  Now congratulations from everywhere, pleasant evening in the family with Felix his good old self.   Now start the …. visits for them and a wonderful free time.

8/26   Now my boy is gone again, my dear good boy.  May God protect him.  Today on the 27^th he is already so far away from home, so awfully far.  And who knows when we shall see each other again.   Separation and avoidance, that is life!!!

11/28/1906  Today my boy is 27 years old.  May God protect him.  How the years have flown by and yet I see everything as clearly as if it had happened yesterday.  Today I read a poem by Th. Storm to his sons:  ” Always be truthful…” etc.

9/21/1907  Was this ever a day today.  Who could have known in the morning how wonderful the day would turn out to be.   Felix (27) has found a job and this great worrisome wish has come true.  How soon my prayer was answered, how wonderful life is now.

11/26  We travel with Gretel to Ptbg to find an apartment.

1908   Today Matilde traveled to Ptbg in order to make a home for the children, came home on the 9^th with Felix as a surprise.  On the 12^th (December)* at 4 pm the wedding ceremony took place in the Olai church.  Pastor Winkler gave a very good speech and exhorted them to honor their vows, an exhortation which is quite appropriate considering the views of today’s generation, while I am sure that the two children who have been faithful to each other for seven years will continue to be steadfast until God’s will parts them, may they have a long rich happiness…  After the ceremony there was a reception in the house and they came  to us for tea before their departure. 

6/20/1902  Last attempt by the doctors to raise ( Edmund’s) heart activity with saline injections. Causing awful shivers lasting for one hour and 5 min.   I wish they had spared him this torture, it didn’t help, they were all standing around his bed and saw his pain which was fruitless.

   Edmund had wanted to move to Strandheim (Beach home) and had told me to order a carriage in good time, he needed to recover outside the city.

 And a beach home received him, a different one than the one hoped for and longed for, a home surrounded by waves, the last one.  Oh, for the great quiet loneliness that surrounds me, the loneliness of the soul, which asks without receiving an answer, which yearns without reaching the object of its longing, the great, great loneliness!  Growing each day, getting more depressing, since he who was the content of my life went from me.  Now I am a fallen leaf, driven by the winds, rolling on the ground; steering out of the harbor again, which the ship of my life had entered, into the wide open sea, victim of wind and waves.

* Julia uses the Russian calendar, which was 11 days ahead of the Western Gregorian).